Did I Marry The Right Person?
Monday, September 16, 2013Omoba
An article all the married and the single should
read to maintain a lasting union in life
This is a very good article. read it. Those who are
still single may learn something from here....Those who are already married may
take it as a guideline to improve your marriage....DID I MARRY THE RIGHT
PERSON?
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common
question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I
noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It
depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How
do you know?"
Let me
answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on
your mind. Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning,
you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their
touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. Infact it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't
have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...
Because it's happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of
my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It
implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then
something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and
spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love
fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone
calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when
it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you
nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every
relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic
difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or
even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start
asking , "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the
euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with
someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for
their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and
sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a
hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside
your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love
with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be
in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING
THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love
is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You
can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and
day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love."
Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And
most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your
marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are
specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your
marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe
(such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right
diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect.
If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can
"make" love.
Love in marriage is indeed a
"decision"... Not just a feeling .
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